I miss you

I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you

I don't know how many times I say it over and over In my head.

Everytime I see the silhouette of a ute coming down the road

Everytime I see the back of a tall dark head of hair

Everytime I drive anywhere in southport, the night owl, our streets

Everytime it rains and I lie awake in my bed listening

Everytime I close my eyes, it's your eyes I see, dark stormy blues

Sometimes I'm good at blocking it
And I talk like it isn't real, like I'm over you an everything is fine

But then it hits me like a truck
I fucking miss you.

the story of us

I've been writing in my book lately more than on here....
Little thoughts, little revelations...
I might just use this for lyrics and songs...
I know it's taylor swift but oh the lyrics;

 I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us
 How we met and the sparks flew instantly
 People would say they're the lucky ones

 I used to know my spot was next to you
 Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat

'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on
Oh, a simple complicationMiscommunications lead to falloutSo many things that I wish you knewSo many walls up, I can't break through
Now I'm standing alone in a crowded roomAnd we're not speakingAnd I'm dying to know, is it killing youLike it's killing me
I don't know what to say since a twist of fateWhen it all broke downAnd the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now
Next chapter
How'd we end up this way?See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busyAnd you're doing your best to avoid me
I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of usHow I was losing my mind when I saw you hereBut you held your pride like you should have held me
Oh I'm scared to see the endingWhy are we pretending this is nothing?I'd tell you I miss you, but I don't know howI've never heard silence quite this loud
Now I'm standing alone in a crowded roomAnd we're not speakingAnd I'm dying to know, is it killing youLike it's killing me
I don't know what to say since a twist of fateWhen it all broke downAnd the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now
This is looking like a contestOf who can act like they care lessBut I liked it better when you were on my side
The battle's in your hands nowBut I would lay my armor downIf you'd say you'd rather love then fight
So many things that you wish I knewBut the story of us might be ending soon
Now I'm standing alone in a crowded roomAnd we're not speakingAnd I'm dying to know, is it killing youLike it's killing me
I don't know what to say since a twist of fateWhen it all broke downAnd the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy nowNow, now
And we're not speakingAnd I'm dying to know, is it killing youLike it's killing me?
And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate'Cause we're going downAnd the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now
The end

dark paradise

i let you go
i set you free
my heart it breaks in two
and i don't know where to go

all the fibres in my body scream to run back
but i'm scared, oh so scared
what if i'm wrong?
what if i don't know?

am i just being stubborn?
trying to fight our fate..
i dreamt of us
dreamt of us together
our wedding day

you looked at me through those stormy blues
you held my hand and saw everything in me
in just that moment, our future flashed before me
there was summer in the air and heaven in your eyes

i do so wish someone would point out the right direction
for i sure have no idea which way to go
i will never get over you,
will you get over me?
you're that one, the one that got away

the worst part is...
i let you go
i did this to myself
who am i to blame? but me...

baby you're my dark paradise
because no one will ever compare to you
there's no remedy for memory
and for that i am thankful
so i can always think of you and recall
and my stomach will lurch
and my head will spin
and for just a moment your lips will be on mine
before reality sets in...

Theories...

Go away give me a chance to miss you
Say goodbye it'll make me wanna kiss you

Go away, come back
Go away, come back
Why can't I just have it both ways?
[pink lyrics]

I'm tearing myself
From you,
Testing a theory
To see if I miss you

This is hard
And I don't know what will happen
But I suppose soon we'll see
I just hope it doesn't hurt you more
Or me...

mini mantra

me or you?

the sad part is
that the more and more i think about this
the more it damn well hurts

but the more i think about it
i realise that i have to stand by my decision
you always told me that i was stubborn
and right now i'm going to exercise that to its full extent

and today i battle, my head or my heart
if my heart won out
i'd be back in your arms in a second
but my head knows that this wouldn't work
that me loving you isn't enough
i need you to give the same back

so this time round
unlike all the others
i'm choosing my head
because when it comes down
to you or me
i'll always come first
and in the end
i have to make sure
that i look after myself

my gut churns as i consider this
but you messed up
its your fault you lost me
and i forgive and forgive
i always forgave
i fought for us
but it was a two way battle
and i can't fight by myself

until you learn this
and i hope you do
there's nothing i can say
i can't always wait for you...

ten things i hate about you...

I hate the way you talk to me
And the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car
I hate it when you stare

I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind
I hate you so much that it makes me sick
It even makes me ryhme

I hate the way you're always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh
Even worse when you make me cry

I hate the way you're not around
And the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all