Monday, April 4, 2011

a massive turn of events..

you texted me today
shocked the fucking hell out of me

you txt me to ask if i'd like to go to jakes 18th
everything escalated from there
i was semi cold
i didn't write back much
didn't ask questions
but you kept responding

you invited me to dinner
i didn't know how to answer
my heart was pounding
i left it too long
so you invited me to a coffee or a movie
i agreed to coffee
dinner is rather intense
almost a little to intimate for the first time i'll be seeing you personally in a while

then you asked me about april 20
i didn't know what to do
i didn't want to talk about it in txt
you agreed
we'd talk tomorrow

you've commented a lot on my facebook tonight
on just about everything i've written

why now?
why so much contact?
what do you want from me?
i hope you don't break me all over again tomorrow

i feel like 6pm tomorrow is my d-day
that my outcome and survival is awaiting me
we'll see how that goes.



please... don't shoot me.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

the second time around

today it aches
today i really wish you were here
today there's a weight in my heart
and only you could lift it


it's nearly two months.
we're at 7 weeks now
i'm telling myself that i can never say anything to you
that i'll hold it inside until i explode

if you want me
you'll come get me
or at least thats what i'm telling myself

there's no artsy picture to describe how i'm feeling
there's no real way to talk myself out it either
i'll drown it out with music
i'll run it out at the gym
i'll eat my heart out
i'll pretend
but maybe you know
maybe you'll see

see the way i look at you
and remember the way you used to look at me

i know you say you're cold hearted
and that you've buried me away
but if what you told me was real
then it would still be lingering

i hope that maybe we will meet, the second time around.